NEW YORK – Cassandra Thompson, a travel correspondent for the Adventure Channel, has accepted a deal with Star Networks to become the first Earth reporter allowed access to the classified Martian research facility known as Darwin Colony. The two-year contract includes twelve months in interplanetary round-trip plus a full year of live commentary from the previously unseen Martian base. Although Star Networks did not disclose details of the contract, experts familiar with Martian work visas estimate the deal to be in the billions of dollars, including expenses for interplanetary travel, lodgings, technical support, production, contractor salaries, regulatory fees, and production bonuses. Thompson’s post marks the first Martian visa for a civilian journalist employed by a terrestrial news agency.
INTERIOR: Hotel room. Cassandra Thompson steadies a camera on a table and motions for a domestic robot to move into frame.
CASSANDRA THOMPSON: Do you have a moment to answer a few questions?
ROBOT: [Moving into frame] Of course.
CT: Do you have a designation, or a name?
ROBOT: You may call me Culo. We are all Culo.